The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede
She was very sweet,
She was ever so proud of every
One of her hundred feet.
Early every morning,
Her neighbours came to glance,
She always entertained them
With a beautiful little dance.

Chorus
As leg number ninety four
Gave ninety five a shunt,
Legs number one and two
Were twistin' out in front,
As legs numbers nine and ten
Were wriggling up the side,
Legs seventy three and four
Were doing the Palais Glide.

Her neighbour Jenny Longlegs
With jealousy was mad
She went out and bought herself
A pencil and a pad.
She came a month of mornings
And made a careful note
Of every step the centipede made
And this is what she wrote.

Armed with exact notation,
Young Jenny Longlegs tried
To dance just like the centipede,
She failed and nearly cried,
She grabbed a hold of the centipede,
She says, 'Now have a look
And tell me how you do these steps
I've written in my book?'

Said the centipede, 'Do I do that?'
And she tried to demonstrate,
She'd never thought on the thing before
She got into a terrible state,
Her hundred legs were twisted,
She got tied up in a fankle,
She fractured seven shinbones
Fourteen kneecaps and an ankle.

As legs number one and two
Were tied to three and four,
Legs number five and six
Were trampled on the floor,
Leg number fifteen
Was attacked by number ten,
Ninety seven and ninety eight
Will never dance again.

The Wee Kirkcudbright Centipede,
She suffered terrible pain,
And some of us were very surprised
She ever danced again,
But now she tells her neighbours
Every one that calls to see,
Never try an explanation
Of what comes naturally.